I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was looking to update my blog content. I had gone looking for a specific post to review something that had happened in my life a while back (a benefit to having a blog, which is a lot like a diary, only not at all secret, right? :-P), and I realized that I have over five years of my life recorded on here! Unfortunately, a lot of the content is formatted for prior WordPress themes or plugins that I don’t use anymore, and that means it doesn’t look very good. :/ And although I’m no design guru, I do like things neat and orderly whenever I can accomplish it.
I also felt like I needed to update my main pages, such as About Me, I Lost to Gain, etc. I’m working on those. I edited (ie, shortened) my weight loss story page and will work on the running one next. In addition, I’ve added a “Weigh-Ins” page to help keep me truly accountable (and make it easy to see at a glance where I’m at in my journey).
While I’ve been poking around to see what needs fixing, I’ve read a lot of blog posts, and in doing so have run through the gamut of emotions. I have really had my ups and downs these last five years, that’s for sure! Some of the ups were so fun to read, but some of the downs were…well, let’s just say I have discovered that I’ve made a post or two (or three or five) that, while perfectly acceptable for a private diary or an email between friends, are probably less suitable for Internet posting. What can I say, sometimes I just need a place to vent! However, in retrospect, I have realized this is not the place.
So, I have hidden several posts (most of them hockey-drama related…that shouldn’t surprise you!) just to keep myself from getting into trouble in real life. I thought about rewriting them to make them a little more Internet-friendly, but it would have been too hard, and the reality is that while they should probably not be public, I do want to keep them intact, because re-reading those posts has helped me see that problems that I thought were THE END OF THE WORLD were not really the end of the world at all. 🙂
I’m sure you won’t miss them, but just in case you find a link in an active post that throws an error, you’ll just have to forgive me! If you really want to know what the content was, feel free to email me. But, I promise, it was really not that exciting. 😉 It’s surprising, though, how much heartbreak, emotion, and drama there can be in kids’ sports (with some occasional school drama thrown in for fun 😛 ).
Besides reliving All The Drama, there were other aspects of reading through my blog that caused me some heartache. It was harder than I expected to read through that period between 2012 and 2014 when I was breaking all kinds of personal records, both in running and in weight loss. Honestly, looking at the pictures from then is hard. I was so skinny! 😮 Here are a just a few I found…
Free Press Relay October 2012 (113.6 lb)
Dexter to Ann Arbor Half Marathon June 2013 (118.0 lb)
Post-Martian Marathon April 2014 (117.4 lb)
I’m definitely heavier now than I was in all of those photos (anywhere from 8 to 14 pounds heavier!). Yes, it just so happens that each of those pictures was taken at a point when I had just trained for a major race goal (my first race at a sub-10 pace, my first half-marathon, and my first marathon), so obviously I had metabolism in my favor for those, but still…it’s very sobering. I definitely do not feel as thin now (a sentiment to which my pants will attest). Not to mention—holy cow, I’m older now, too! 😮
I guess this is another one of those “understanding maintenance” posts, where I kind of blather on in hopes that I’ll come to some determination of how to make this work—I mean really work—for the long term. It’s ironic that I’m coming up on 5 years since I joined Weight Watchers for (literally) the last time, but although I’ve successfully kept off (at this point) a total of 75 pounds since I was at my heaviest 15 years ago, I still don’t feel like I’ve crossed the finish line yet. To me, “the finish line” represents that point in time when I’m happy with my body, my weight, and my health in general. And although I’m happy with certain aspects of those three things (happy to be thinner than I was and happy to be so much more active and healthy than I ever was), I’m not fully there yet.
I know this post is totally “blah” and not very motivating, but it’s definitely honest. I hate being negative, and I feel like I’m falling quickly down that well, so I will end with this positive comparison. Here is one of my “famous” before photos, taken in May 2000.
And here is the most recent full body shot I can find of myself, taken in late September 2016.
I may not be perfect, but I am much improved from that first girl! Not to mention, that first girl would have never gotten up at 4:30am to run five steps before work, much less five miles like I did this morning. 😀
Thank you for reading!