Yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to say. I feel like my day was one big “Wah” fest, ever since the moment I weighed myself this morning and discovered that I did not lose the last .6 pounds I needed to get to my goal weight. Actually, what I did was gain .6 pounds. No sh*t! Despite all my hard work this past weekend (chronicled to the point of nausea in my last post), I still couldn’t even stay the same, but instead gained weight. That was so frustrating to me this morning, I actually cried. Yes, there it is…I had a moment this morning and wallowed in my own self-pity. It wasn’t pretty, but it just couldn’t be helped. I was really looking forward to seeing the little fireworks when I logged my weight this morning on WW online. (I’ve seen them once before, when I had originally had 145 as my goal weight, and I forgot to change it before entering my weight the week I went below that number). But what I was really looking forward to was getting more points!! Dude, I am so mentally ready for maintenance. I want to be done with losing and get on with the business of maintaining for the rest of my life. I know I can do it, but darn it, I need a few more points in the day to keep me sane. Not a lot…just a few.
I’m struggling with what I need to do now. I mean, I know this is just a temporary thing, most likely the result of having a lot of food in the last three days of my tracking week (even if it was all on program). I suspect that it will come off eventually, but I’m kind of feeling like I’m splitting hairs a bit here. I mean, when you really think about it, what is the difference between 126.2 and 125? Do I need to keep working so hard for an extra pound? Is that pound going to make my jeans fit that much better, or for that matter, will it make me feel that much better? I don’t know. I hate giving up shy of my goal, but then again, my original goal, back when I weighed 201.6 pounds, was 145. After I got to that point (just last December–after almost twelve years of on and off WWing!), I realized it wasn’t where I wanted to be, so I changed it to 135. Once I got to that point, it was 130, and then, before I even got to 130, I decided that 125 was a better goal. I remember when I was somewhere just under 140, I once told a close friend (the kind of close friend you can actually discuss your weight with and mention actual figures) that I would never go below 130. “The thought of me trying to maintain anything in the 120s is just crazy scary,” I told her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen the 120s. At least, not since I was about 13!”
And yet, here I am…in the 120s. How crazy is that?!
I just went and did some quick calendar math, and I realized that today was the first time that I have gained weight in 20 weeks! Gosh, that’s a long time, now that I actually count it up. Almost half a year! I think there has only been two weeks, maybe three at most, in all that time that I haven’t actually lost weight, but instead stayed the same.
Twenty weeks of losing (or maintaining), down 24 pounds in four months, and 75 pounds lost since my highest weight. So, I guess there is something to be said for looking at the whole picture, right? Not to mention my newfound hobby of fitness walking, which I still really, really love doing. 🙂
So that’s where we stand today. I guess I will just stay the course and see where that takes me. Tune in next week, folks, for the continuing saga of “Steph vs. the Scale”… 😉
Thanks for reading! (And listening to me whine…)
PS: No pictures?! What?! I know, blasphemy, right? But I was just not in a picture-happy mood today. I’ll try harder next time, because I do love the visuals.