Joined WW for the 1,327th Time

      4 Comments on Joined WW for the 1,327th Time

Okay, it wasn’t really the 1,327th time, but it sure felt like it, ha ha!  I remember being a Weight Watcher member in high school, back when they had the “exchange” program.  (I can’t be the only one who remembers getting so many milks, proteins, and breads in a day, checking off each box as I ate things…)   Whatever number this particular “join event” was, it was pretty memorable, to say the least.  I will go into that in a moment, but first…

Anyone who knows me might ask why on earth I joined “officially” today.  (And when I say “joined,” mean I went in to a meeting, paid my 26 bucks, and got one of those little weight tracking booklets, along with a whole bunch of other books I don’t need).  I’ve been an online-only member for 8 years, and I’ve done pretty good for myself, keeping off the 50 pounds I lost, plus losing another 25 pounds these last 4 months.  The reason why I rejoined is twofold:

  1. I have learned that if you become a Lifetime member at the meetings, you are entitled to free Weight Watcher eTools for the rest of your natural born (read: at-or-below goal weight) life.  I have been paying for the eTools since 2004, and now that I am finally *thisclose*, I would really love to not have to pay anymore.  But online-only members aren’t entitled to that perk. (And I suppose it makes sense, since there’s really no way for them to know you aren’t just entering the same weight every week so you can pretend to be at goal.)
  2. The second reason is less material and more ephemeral (yes, I like big, pretentious words).  I have learned that, technically, there is no “Lifetime” membership for those using only the online version.  And you know what? I want to actually be a Lifetime member.  I have heard enough about it in the 20+ years I have been on-off-on Weight Watchers, now that I can actually lay claim to that designation…I want to!  I want to stand up in front of a room full of people and get a little certificate.  I might even make my husband come and take a picture of me when it happens. 😉

So, now that I’ve told you my reasons, let me tell you the story of my “rejoining” of Weight Watchers today. It’s quite…interesting.

Once I figured out I needed to join to get the “real” perks, I did some research.  I combed the site, called customer service, and I found out the bottom line is that I could join, right now, but I have to be at least 5 pounds above whatever goal weight I set for myself.  Then I would have to be at or below that weight for 6 weeks, and after passing those two tests, I could be an “official” Lifetime member, with all the perks heretofore mentioned.

This presented a problem, though. I don’t mind paying for 6 or 7 weeks of meetings (since it will save me a TON in the long run), but the real crux of the matter is…I don’t want to lose another 5 pounds. I want to lose another 1.2 pounds.  That’s all.  The thought of losing 5 more pounds makes me a bit ill.  So, I pondered this for a while, and came to the conclusion that I simply needed to “gain” four pounds.  Very quickly.

After reaching this conclusion, I left work and headed for the WW location closest to my house.  When I arrived, I had to wait for my husband to come by on his way to the hockey rink so I could give him DS#1’s stick.  As I waited, I looked at the location, which I had previously been to many times in my pre-baby years, when I could actually find the time to attend meetings.  They’d moved the location around the corner to another side of the strip mall since the last time I was there, and when I took a good look at the location, I burst out laughing.

There are just some things too funny not to share.

Once I got over the humor (and once I handed off the hockey stick), I went to the drugstore nearby, where I bought three bottles of water.  I got out to my car and immediately drank a full bottle (all 23 ounces).  I love water, so this wasn’t too hard.  I then drove back to the WW location, got out, and picked up the other two bottles of water…and put them in my jacket pockets.  (You see where this is going, right?)  I then grabbed my phone, my Garmin, my keys, and anything else I could possibly find in my car to carry on my person.

Once inside, I spent about 10 minutes explaining to the ladies that I wanted to “join,” but only so I could hit Lifetime.  (I felt kind of odd walking into WW as a new member, knowing that I really don’t need to lose a bunch of weight!)  We went around and around about the eTools and my online subscription and how I would want to cancel it (no, I don’t, really!), and I gave up trying to explain that I’d already talked to the customer service folks and they’d told me what to do to make sure I didn’t lose all my prior eTools data. Eventually, after I agreed to do the Monthly Pass as an “at my own risk” kind of thing, they let me join.

Then, finally, came the time for me to get weighed.  As I stepped toward the scale, neither the WW staff nor the ladies being weighed around me seemed to pay any attention to the fact that I was wearing my coat and my shoes, and had two suspicious bulges in my coat pockets, as I stepped on the scale.  The scales were in front of very tall counters, and I realized that I could hold my purse and the women weighing me couldn’t see it at all, so I did.  Again, not one of the ladies currently being weighed or in line behind me to be weighed questioned the fact that I had all that stuff on my person while I was being weighed.  Clearly, they had more important things on their mind (ie, their own weigh-in!).  That just goes to show you that when you’re nervous because you think everyone is looking at you, chances are they probably aren’t!

Then the lady told me my weight:  139.6.  *THUD*  Holy crap!  That’s 13 pounds more than when I weighed myself at home on Monday morning.  Granted, that was first thing in the morning (before eating), with much less clothing, and obviously without all my “extra” baggage.  Still…I knew there was no way there could be a 13-pound difference!  I panicked and began to wonder if my scale at home was that off.  After dropping off a forgotten helmet at the hockey rink (is there any wonder why I was unable to find the time to go to meetings after I had kids?!), I rushed home, and before I even went to the bathroom (remember, I had 23 oz of water in me!), I hopped on my scale with all the same stuff I had at the meeting.  The verdict…

139.0

I couldn’t believe it.  I dropped all my extraneous crap, took off my shoes, went to the bathroom, and weighed myself again:  127.4.  Holy sh*t!!  Between the water I had drunk, the shoes, my coat, etc., I had added almost twelve extra pounds to myself for my first weigh in!!  The irony of this was not lost on me, and after I got over the initial shock, I just laughed and laughed. In my quest to make sure I didn’t have to lose 5 more pounds, I have now put myself in a situation where I’m going to have to find a way to “lose” twelve pounds without looking like I’m deathly ill!

Really? These weigh 5 pounds?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to fix this.  I guess the WW gods found a way to get a little extra money out of me, because clearly I can’t go in next week and have lost even half of that “extra” weight.  I guess the upside is that I’m pretty much guaranteed to “lose weight” over the course of the next month or so.  Dude, I could go splurge at Olive Garden next Wednesday night and still be down 5 pounds at next week’s weigh in. LOLOL!

So there you go…there’s my really long Weight Watchers story.  I’m torn between laughing at myself and wanted to smack myself.  One thing I’ve always said is that I am very bad at estimating weights and measurements, and clearly, this is a prime example!

I originally had a fun thing to share tonight, but this story kind of trumped it.  So perhaps tomorrow night I will share my latest purchases, which I’m quite anxiously awaiting to arrive!

Thank you for reading!



4 thoughts on “Joined WW for the 1,327th Time

  1. Jenn

    OMG. I am seriously going to pee my pants. Well, at least that will be water I won’t be retaining. Steph, you crack me up, I miss you dearly, and I just love you.

    Reply

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