Clothing, Reimagined

Earlier this week, I went to the mall. Back in January or February, when I was hovering around a size 10 and very excited about it, I went to a store in the mall.  It was one of those stores that’s kind of snooty, the kind that have only European sizes, to completely confuse the hell out of you.

I walked into the store, so excited, because I knew that this would finally be the time when I could shop at one of these “cool, trendy” stores.

I tried on a pair of jeans, a really cute pair that had rhinestones and swirls on them. Truly ridiculous, but yeah…so cool.

I didn’t really know which size to pick, because they were all European, and I’m just not well-versed in that sizing structure. So I picked up what looked to be the largest number of all the ones on the shelves and then headed to the back.

I tried them on, and the key word here is “tried.” Not only did they NOT fit, they didn’t even zip up. To say I was depressed was an understatement. I had worked so hard to get myself down to a size 10 (something I hadn’t seen since high school!), and yet I still couldn’t fit into what I thought where the “cool” jeans.

I took them back with the intent to put them away quietly, but, of course, the little salesgirl who was tiny and and just downright annoying (an opinion not at all colored by my piss-poor attitude of the moment) had to come up to me and say, “So, did it fit okay?” Which of course then required me to answer no. “Do you have anything larger than this?” I asked quietly, and she looked at me like I was a freak. Okay, perhaps a slight exaggeration there. Actually, she looked rather contrite, whether because she felt bad not being able to help me, or because she realized she would make no money off me, I don’t know. She quietly replied that unfortunately, no, what I had was their largest size.

The whole experience made me embarrassed, but it also left me angry. I was not a plus-sized woman anymore–those things weren’t supposed to happen to me!

In the end, I just quietly left the store and I didn’t go back. But at the same time, I felt a new determination. I actually don’t get to the mall often, but for the rest if the year, whenever I did, I will admit that I sometimes would look at that store and think,”You will not beat me. I WILL fit into a pair of your jeans…someday!!”

Flash forward about seven months to this past week.  I decided it was time to try again to fit into those jeans. Not actually buy them, mind you, because they were so damn expensive, but it would be nice to parade around in front of the little sales girls in a pair of their jeans that actually fit. So, with a renewed spirit and a drive to win, I went to the store this week during my lunch and this is what I found:

The store was no longer there! A toy store had taken its place. I had to laugh when I saw it. In the long battle of wills that had been fought in my mind for the last six or seven months, this was not how I envisioned the story ending.  But I believe that the store’s demise counts as a forfeit, so I therefore declare myself the victor. 😉

Meanwhile, since I  still had some time to kill, I went across the way to the Gap. I decided to try on some jeans, so I pulled out a six and an eight and a very cute T-shirt and went back to try them on.

I started out with the sixes, feeling optimistic, and when I tried them on, I was quite astonished. They were actually too big! So even though I absolutely didn’t think I could possibly go any smaller, I went out and grabbed a pair of fours.  And guess what?

Yes, I did take a picture of myself in a mirror wearing a size 4 pair of jeans. 😉 It was just so unbelievable to me!

I didn’t actually buy the jeans, because they were $70 and I’m sorry, but I just can’t see paying $70 for a pair of jeans! Am I the only one who’s this cheap, or do others feel that’s too much too pay for a pair of jeans?

At any rate,  I did buy five shirts that were cute (I’m wearing one in the picture above) because they were on clearance for less than $20 total for all of them out the door–with tax!

The next day I decided to try another store for jeans, and while I was there, I saw this adorable Ralph Lauren outfit on a mannequin (I’m fashion illiterate and tend to do my best shopping off mannequins). It was a pair of red jeans and a red turtleneck with a really cute little sweater/jacket type thing.  I was feeling optimistic, so I tried on the fours. Unfortunately it was a very unpleasant experience,  as reflected by the fact that there is no accompanying picture with this part of the post. 😛

So, clearly, sizing is relative. But still, what does it matter? What DOES matter is that I’m  somewhere between a four or six or whatever. I feel good, my clothes fit, and I’m wearing sizes I’ve never worn before–in my life! As a matter of fact, all that clothes shopping (reconnaissance shopping, my husband likes to call it, since I didn’t really intend to buy anything) prompted me to do something else this week, something that I’ve been putting off for a LONG time.

I finally went through all my clothes, partly because I was thinking that it would be a good idea, partly because I couldn’t fit anything else in my dresser.

When, I was done, this was the pile of clothes that were too big:

And this is the pile of clothes that still fits.

Quite a bit different, huh? I donated three and a half bags of clothes to goodwill Friday. 🙂

Now my problem is that I’m down to, besides work clothes, three pairs of jeans and three pairs of shorts that fit. Thanks to my bargain finds earlier in the week, I’m actually doing pretty well in the shirt department!  I also went out Friday night and bought myself a new top and sweater off the clearance racks. I also bought an adorable pair of boots that, sadly, were not on clearance, but it’s all for a special dinner with my husband later this week. I’ll post pictures next week!

Whew, that was a long post, BUT, there is a reasoning behind it. I think I’m going to take a break from my blog and stop posting for a little bit, because I’m really, really behind on all the blogs I read, and I want to catch up!

So I’ll be taking a break for the next week, but I will be reading reading reading other blogs, and commenting when I can, all week long! 🙂

Thank you so much for reading!